Well, rats. Try something else.

Well, Stanford's CT scan on Friday showed that the lesions on his liver have grown. This is very disappointing news. Quite upsetting, actually. I've spent a fair amount of time in the last couple of days crying and worrying. The plan now is to go up again on Friday as originally scheduled, only this time try a different drug, that is used for carcinoma. This drug is given every three weeks, usually on an out-patient basis, but for this first time they will keep Stanford overnight to see how he responds to it. The doctor has consulted with colleagues who deal with adult cancer, since Stanford is now 18 and nearing adult age. I guess they figured it was a sarcoma because he is a child. She said it may be a "smart sarcoma" or a carcinoma. Since they really don't know what it is for sure, they also can't give us any kind of prognosis or percentages of success. The good things are that Stanford's attitude is incredibly positive and upbeat, also he still has no symptoms of this cancer. If it weren't for the original tumor, we would have no idea anything was wrong with his liver. Which also makes me wonder now what might be growing in any of us that we don't know about! We'll be doing a couple of rounds of this new chemo, then another scan to see if it makes any difference.

A friend at church today gave me a book to read called The pH Miracle. I've skimmed it thoroughly and am not quite sure what to think of it. This friend cares very deeply, and has great belief in this approach. A healthier change in diet is certainly to the good, though I'm not sure I'm ready for the extreme changes this author recommends (no M&M's :). Whatever we do, it will be in conjunction with what the doctors say.

One thing I've learned through all of this is how important every note, email, treat brought, phone call, gift sent, and offer of a listening ear is. I used to wonder how some little thing I might do could possibly make a difference to someone going through a crisis. But all of those things have been incredibly helpful. I cling on to every note or email I receive, every encouraging word, every bit of reaching out people have done for me and my family. I want to mention a couple of things here. A few weeks ago I came home and found two packages that have been sent by dear stitching friends, who lifted my spirits greatly. Both were totally unexpected, and they both continue to lift me.

This first is from Ann. Stitchers sure know how to help each other! I actually started this one in the hospital last time (I treated myself by starting three new projects in the five days I was there with Stanford.). I'll have John take a picture of my progress soon. Ann, thank you so much. I love the piece, and I especially love how cared-for I feel because you sent it to me!

The second is from my friend, Janey. Janey made an order to Shepherd's Bush, and had part of it sent to me. The part that you see here is their current t-shirt (I wore this at the hospital last time, and it's very comforting to wear something that brings you good feelings!). Also shown is the ribbon that wrapped the present, which had a lollipop ornament and a sheep pin. Next is the photo with two charts, one of "Celebrate Everything" to remind me to continue to enjoy every bit of life. The other is "Bethlehem", along with blue fabric and blue WDW to stitch it. This is to remind me of my faith, and Whom to keep at the center of my life. I need that right now!

For both of you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart!